🥷 Pocket Picker
Wouter Goes (AZ Alkmaar) — Collected the ball before the attack could settle in.
Wouter Goes: 5 Tackles + interceptions; 5 Recoveries; 7 Duels won. Collected the opposition attack before it could settle.
Eredivisie: this week's cards
Every Eredivisie round gets praise and roast cards built from real match numbers: distance run, expected goals, saves, tackles and more. Here are the latest ones; open the app to vote, share and open card packs.
🧱 The Brick Wall
Dies Janse (AFC Ajax) — Granite in defence. Attackers bounced right off him.
Dies Janse: 7 Clearances; 3 Blocks; 6 Aerial duels won. The guard did not change at the edge of the box.
🧤 Safe Hands
Mattijs Branderhorst (Fortuna Sittard) — Locked the gates shut. Made world-class saves look routine.
Mattijs Branderhorst: 5 Saves; 2 Goals conceded; 1.4 Goals prevented (model). The goal was airtight this week.
🧈 Butterfingers
Stijn van Gassel (Excelsior) — Every shot on target went in. Left his hands in the dressing room.
Stijn van Gassel: 4 Goals conceded; 3 Saves; -1.81 Goals prevented (model). Saw a lot of goals this week.
🧺 Spin Cycle Striker
Thom van Bergen (FC Groningen) — The xG piled up; the goals got stuck on spin.
Thom van Bergen: 1.61 Expected goals (xG); 1 Goals; %25 Shot conversion. Expected goals piled up, goals did not.
🩺 The Box Surgeon
Julian Brandt (AFC Ajax) — Took the expectation chart straight to the goals column.
Julian Brandt: 2 Goals; 0.15 Expected goals (xG); 2/2 On target / attempts. Beat the expectation chart with clinical finishing.
🚀 Launch Pad Intern
Dylan Vente (SC Heerenveen) — Some of those shots filed a flight plan.
Dylan Vente: 3 Shots off target; 4 Shots; 1.55 Expected goals (xG). Some of those shots reached orbit.
🧵 Chance Tailor
Dennis Geiger (NEC Nijmegen) — Picked the seams of the defence with a pass.
Dennis Geiger: 6 Chances created; 0.96 Expected assists (xA); 1 Assists. Stitched the passing lane like fine fabric.
📦 Long-Haul Delivery
Ronald Koeman Jr (SC Telstar) — Long passes come with a tracking number.
Ronald Koeman Jr: 14/18 Accurate long balls; 31 Accurate passes; 8.5 Rating. Dropped long balls right at the address.
✂️ Cross Tailor
Clement Bischoff (NEC Nijmegen) — Those crosses came off the cutting table.
Clement Bischoff: 4/6 Accurate crosses; 3 Chances created; 0 Assists. Cut the crosses like cloth.
📡 Satellite Service
Younes Taha (FC Twente) — The cross went to a frequency instead of an address.
Younes Taha: 8 Inaccurate crosses; 10 Cross attempts; 0 Assists. Sent crosses to the wrong frequency.
📞 Wrong Number
Hidde ter Avest (Willem II Tilburg) — The misplaced-pass page is getting crowded.
Hidde ter Avest: 13 Inaccurate passes; 39 Pass attempts; %67 Pass accuracy. Sent passes to the wrong address.
🥔 Spud of the Week
Ayoub Oufkir (AZ Alkmaar) — Playing in wellies. Every touch was an accident waiting to happen.
Ayoub Oufkir: 3 Dispossessed; 7 Inaccurate passes; 5.9 Rating. Plenty of touches, plenty of turnovers.
⛏️ The Butcher
Ayoub Oufkir (AZ Alkmaar) — Went straight for the shins. The referee got arm cramp booking him.
Ayoub Oufkir: 4 Fouls committed; 9 Duels lost; 1 Tackles. Highest foul count of the week.