🥷 Pocket Picker
Diogo Dalot (Manchester United) — Collected the ball before the attack could settle in.
Diogo Dalot: 7 Tackles + interceptions; 8 Recoveries; 15 Duels won. Collected the opposition attack before it could settle.
Premier League: this week's cards
Every Premier League round gets praise and roast cards built from real match numbers: distance run, expected goals, saves, tackles and more. Here are the latest ones; open the app to vote, share and open card packs.
🧱 The Brick Wall
Luka Vušković (Brighton & Hove Albion) — Granite in defence. Attackers bounced right off him.
Luka Vušković: 7 Clearances; 1 Blocks; 10 Aerial duels won. The guard did not change at the edge of the box.
🧤 Safe Hands
Konstantinos Tzolakis (Hull City) — Locked the gates shut. Made world-class saves look routine.
Konstantinos Tzolakis: 5 Saves; 1 Goals conceded; -0.46 Goals prevented (model). The goal was airtight this week.
🧈 Butterfingers
Walter Benítez (Crystal Palace) — Every shot on target went in. Left his hands in the dressing room.
Walter Benítez: 5 Goals conceded; 5 Saves; -1.97 Goals prevented (model). Saw a lot of goals this week.
🩺 The Box Surgeon
Pedro Neto (Chelsea) — Took the expectation chart straight to the goals column.
Pedro Neto: 2 Goals; 0.37 Expected goals (xG); 3/3 On target / attempts. Beat the expectation chart with clinical finishing.
🚀 Launch Pad Intern
Bradley Barcola (Liverpool FC) — Some of those shots filed a flight plan.
Bradley Barcola: 4 Shots off target; 4 Shots; 0.53 Expected goals (xG). Some of those shots reached orbit.
🧵 Chance Tailor
Florian Wirtz (Liverpool FC) — Picked the seams of the defence with a pass.
Florian Wirtz: 9 Chances created; 0.19 Expected assists (xA); 1 Assists. Stitched the passing lane like fine fabric.
📦 Long-Haul Delivery
Christian Walton (Ipswich Town) — Long passes come with a tracking number.
Christian Walton: 14/21 Accurate long balls; 18 Accurate passes; 6.3 Rating. Dropped long balls right at the address.
✂️ Cross Tailor
Granit Xhaka (Sunderland) — Those crosses came off the cutting table.
Granit Xhaka: 3/4 Accurate crosses; 2 Chances created; 0 Assists. Cut the crosses like cloth.
📡 Satellite Service
Neco Williams (Nottingham Forest) — The cross went to a frequency instead of an address.
Neco Williams: 7 Inaccurate crosses; 7 Cross attempts; 0 Assists. Sent crosses to the wrong frequency.
📞 Wrong Number
Granit Xhaka (Sunderland) — The misplaced-pass page is getting crowded.
Granit Xhaka: 18 Inaccurate passes; 56 Pass attempts; %68 Pass accuracy. Sent passes to the wrong address.
🥔 Spud of the Week
Igor Thiago (Brentford) — Playing in wellies. Every touch was an accident waiting to happen.
Igor Thiago: 2 Dispossessed; 12 Inaccurate passes; 5.6 Rating. Plenty of touches, plenty of turnovers.
⛏️ The Butcher
Ethan Ampadu (Leeds United) — Went straight for the shins. The referee got arm cramp booking him.
Ethan Ampadu: 5 Fouls committed; 7 Duels lost; 2 Tackles. Highest foul count of the week.
⚡ The Dynamo
Archie Gray (Tottenham Hotspur) — The action counter looked plugged into the mains.
Archie Gray: 12.4 km Distance covered; 18 Number of sprints; 4 Recoveries. Powered the midfield alone.